I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
