That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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