He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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