I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Randomize
