I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
