Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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