guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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