I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
