Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The power of my boobs compel you
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
