What a fucking waste of an outfit
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
