Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
