what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
