Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
