you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
