She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
