omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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