we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
