I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
