ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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