sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
