I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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