I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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