nut hugger
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
