From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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