I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
