If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I cut my penus on the lid.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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