I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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