that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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