Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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