He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
