I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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