Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
