Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
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