There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He kissed a someone with a penis
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
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