He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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