I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
