singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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