proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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