Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
