areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You are the jesus of drinking
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
