Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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