Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
