I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
