Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
