wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
