yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
