My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
did you just send me my own nude
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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