so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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