If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
