I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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