You can't motorboat a personality
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
