What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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