Having a random hookup so left but love u
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
